Week Ten: Learning to Fly

A soul in tension — that’s learning to fly
Condition grounded but determined to try
Can’t keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I – Pink Floyd

Rachel

Mom sure beat the hell out of this thing. It looks like a part of the doll she pretends is Dad got stuck in the wheel. That’s why it won’t turn. Oh well, I’ll fix it right up for her like I always do.

“OK, Mrs. Hatfield, I fixed up your car,” Mr. Wiggles told Mom. She didn’t like my friend at first, but she’s come around on him. The closest I feel with my mom is when we play “Let’s Pretend.” She’s a kid at heart when she’s not screaming at people. Ever since she got caught stealing money from the campaign fund, all Mom does now is sleep all day, and then she goes out at night. Dad thinks she hits the bars, but she always seems stone cold sober when she gets home to me.

I had gotten a job at the hospital, I wanted to learn everything I could about the human body. I like learning things, but I had a special reason for my interest in anatomy and biology and life in general.  But first, I wanted to increase my skills in logic. I signed up for a class at the science facility. I also began asking a few questions about my special interest. Amazingly, one of the scientists said he could help me, but first I had to find him something.

That “something” was a very rare kind of gem. I started scouring Hidden Springs for it, but all I could find was a lump of iron. Story of my life I guess. I was so excited when I saw it flashing in the sun several yards away, but it wasn’t a rainbow gem. My heart broke and I began to cry.

Of course, that’s when the fucking paparazzi showed up. Sorry. I guess some of my mother’s language wears off on me sometime, but what better word can I use to describe these assholes? Just because my mom is the disgraced former candidate for governor, doesn’t mean me crying over a silly rock is news. I should be glad I’m not my sister Cynthia though. Ever since she announced she and our half sister Thalia were expecting a baby, the media’s done nothing but give her grief about it.

“Night, Holly,” I said as I climbed up into my bunk bed. She had wet the bed again. She’s a nice girl but Bowen wasn’t the best father to her. He seems off in his own world all the time, and doesn’t even remember to go to work on most days. I guess it’s good the two of them found my mother, even though as I can attest, she’s not exactly the best parent either.

The next morning, when I came downstairs, my dad had some bad news for me. “Your mother was arrested last night.”

“Why?”

“It turns out all these nights she’s been out late, she wasn’t at the clubs or bars, but working for a crime syndicate.”

“Oh, Christ.” I started sobbing, I just couldn’t take it any more. How many times was she going to let me down like this? Why couldn’t I have normal parents like everyone else in the world? I ran upstairs and locked myself in the bathroom.

Wiggles was already in the bathroom. “You’re not going to take a shower are you? The shower is SCARY and I HATE water.”

“You know I hate water too, Wiggles. Mom got arrested last night. Turns out she’s in with the town bad guys.”

“It’ll be OK, Rach. You’ll always have me.”

“Thanks, Wigs, I love you so much. I’d never have survived this far without you.”

“So, did you learn anything about making me real yet?”

Please don’t laugh. I’ve had my doll since I was a baby, and, one day, he just started to talk to me. I’m not crazy. At least I don’t think I am. Anyway, I read a lot of books about it, and I found out lots of kids in Hidden Springs have had the same experience. Some stories even spoke of dolls who became real. I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up, but I think if I can put my mind to it, I can find out if these stories are true or not.

“There’s a scientist at the lab who said he heard somewhere rainbow gems can make a potion that turn dolls real. I hope he wasn’t pulling my leg, but it’s worth a shot.”

Well crud, now I’m going to be late for work. My boss, Rebecca Toast, is sure to yell at me again. I think she hates me.

While I was at work, an idea came to me. Sometimes the consignment store sold rocks that other people had found. Maybe I could get a rainbow gem that way! I ran to the store after work. The lady who worked the counter was chatting with a friend of hers when I walked in. She nodded to acknowledge my presence then kept chatting. I sighed, and continued to wait.

“Can I help you? Make it quick, we close real soon.”

Yeah, I’m so sorry to hold you up. “Would you happen to have any rainbow gems?”

“Nope. OK, thanks for shopping, good night!” She closed the register and hustled me out of the store.

“Hi, Mia. I had a rough day at work. The janitor shoved me into the laundry cart and then dumped me in the garbage. He thought it was funny, that crazy asshole. Want to pillow fight so we can blow off some steam?”

“Um, maybe some other time, I got to practice.”

Oh well, I’ll always have Wiggles.

“HUSTLE, RACHEL! I’M GONNA LEAVE WITHOUT YOU.”

Why is everyone always so mean to me? I silently road to work, embarrassed my coworker yelled at me. At work I looked around for Bowen. He had left his job at the science career because the hospital had made him a better offer. Why, I don’t know.

Turns out, he didn’t go. As usual.  Dad told me he was sitting at the kitchen table watching flies hatch out of food he left out for that exact purpose. Dad said it was gross as hell, but I thought it sounded cool. My day was nowhere near as fun. Dr. Toast asked me to substitute for the anesthesiologist, so I did. I left the gas on though, and knocked myself out. And a surgery team prepping for OR as well. Fucking shit.

“Sorry, Ma’am, still no rainbow gems.” Sigh, why is my life so shitty?

Dr. Toast told me if I wanted to be a doctor, it would help if I learned chess so I could think quicker on my feet. I joined the local club, and they gave me a list of names. “See, we have a ladder system. You have to beat the person on your current rung before you can play higher opponents.”

This sounded like fun. But when I called Emily Chesterfield she told me that something had come up and she couldn’t come over.

“So, at work today, I suggested Lupus because the symptoms sounded like something I had read about, and Dr. Toast laughed at me and accused me of watching too much House.”

The next day, Bowen didn’t show up at work again. Mom told me she had a huge fight with Dad about it, because she saw Dad talking to him. She thinks Dad distracts Bowen so he forgets to go to work. I told Mom that Bowen was a full grown man and responsible for his own actions, but that didn’t go well. Luckily, the phone rang. It was Thalia calling to tell us Cynthia had given birth! I was so happy for them. They named him Matthew, and he’s the most adorable thing ever. Even better I got a promotion to bed pan cleaner! Saying that out loud I realize it doesn’t sound like something to be excited about, but it does pay better.

“No. No rainbow gems. Look, lady, we’ll call you if any come in.”

“Thank you, sorry to be such a bother.” I know she was getting sick of seeing me, but I was afraid if I just trusted her to call me, she’d forget. Wiggles was counting on me too much for that.

I realized though that if the scientist at the lab was just going to make a potion for me, maybe I could learn the potion myself! Beats running around town picking up dirty rocks.

Before I could finish brewing up my first potion, however, Dad called me into the kitchen. It was Jarvis’s birthday. Our household was always having a birthday it seems. But cake and parties are awesome, so I don’t mind.

Jarvis looked a bit shocked to look so old, but Dad didn’t mind. “You’re still as handsome as the day I met you,” he said. I hope I can find happiness like that someday.

“Oh, sorry, Rachel. I was on my way out the door to come over for our chess match, but my mom called. Sorry.”

Emily had stood me up again. I was going to be the lowest chess rank FOREVER.

“Hey, guys. Cynthia called today to thank us for the baby gifts. She also said she’s pregnant again. She laughed and said Thalia’s a bit shell-shocked.”

I kind of like my new outfit for work. At least, I do in the mornings. By the end of my day as a bed pan cleaner, let’s just say my scrubs aren’t bright pink any more.

“Oh! Just who I wanted to see! I have a rainbow gem for you!”

“Really?” I jumped with glee.

“No, I don’t have one! I told you I would call, lady! Now leave me alone!”

Bitch.

When I got home I poked my head in the bathroom. “Um, Bowen, Dr. Toast said if you don’t start coming to work soon, you might as well just stop coming period.” Bowen ignored me, splashing with his ducky. I shrugged. Not my problem. I didn’t know Bowen wore a toupee though.

Mia was getting really good on her guitar. I am so happy for her. I wish I had a talent of some kind. I can’t even find anyone to play chess with me.

“Did you get it?” Wiggles eagerly asked me.

“No, judging from the ingredients I used and the color, this should be Liquid Horror.” I drank it to see what it would do.

“Whoa, are you sure you should be drinking that?”

“Not really,” I replied. It didn’t seem to do anything to me though.

“Wiggles, I love you and all, but could you stop staring at me while I do this?”

“Why?”

BOOM!

“Oh, no reason.”

Looks like I was going to have to add a shower to my workstation in the garage.

Well, fuck. This is getting nowhere fast.

“Don’t feel bad, Rach. Dr. House always has to try three or four times before he finds the answer.”

“Thanks, Wiggles. MOM! I can see you! You’re not sneaking up on me.”

Since mom’s arrest, she’s been getting along with Dad better now. I have no idea why. I asked her if she still hated Dad, and she said that she actually considers him to be her best friend. I bet that lasts only a week though.

I kept failing at my potion creation so much I had lost track of whether I had showered or not. One morning, I was pillow fighting with Wiggles when I heard my car pool loudly honking.

“Let’s go, Rach.” My coworker started to snicker to herself.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing,” she said as we drove to work.

I got promoted to paramedic that day and I excitedly ran all the way to the consignment store.

“Oh, wow.”

“So, did you get any rainbow gems?”

“Um, no, you, um, got something…”

“Oh, God! My stomach!” she said, as she doubled over in pain.

“Here, let me help.”

“This shot should help with your nausea.”

“Um, if you say so…”  I injected the solution into her arm and she felt better almost immediately.

“Wow, thanks, oh, look at the time! Night!” She closed up the shop and hustled me out, not even giving me a chance to look at her wares.

I had been told at work that I should get to know Ariel Song, a local politician. “If she has friends at the hospital, she’s more likely to help get us state funds,” Dr. Toast explained to me.

“You have a nice house,” I told Ariel when I went to her house.

“Hey, I’m having a party, you should stick around.”

“I’m feeling pretty tired,” I told her, but I agreed anyway.

At the party some guy showed up with no pants on. What a weirdo.

I was so tired I crawled into Ariel’s bed and slept through most of the party.

I probably wouldn’t have slept very well if I had known what was going on while I was sleeping. He just stood there and stared at me the whole time.

When I got home, Mom was repeatedly mopping the floor. “Look, Mom, you have to fix the sink first, then clean up the water. Let me call the repair man.” She never could find her purpose in life, so now she just grasps at anything she can find. It’s real depressing.

The next day after work I hit the consignment store again. This time I hit pay dirt. No rainbow gems, but they had a miner! Maybe with it, I could dig up a rainbow gem.

“It sure is noisy, Rach. I don’t think I like it.”

“Look, do you want to be real or not?”

I did find a luminous gem, which was pretty cool, but no rainbow gem. Back to the potions I guess. I was getting really discouraged, but for Wiggles’ sake I just couldn’t quit.

Or maybe I could. I feel like I’m just covered head to toe in soot every fucking day now. Why does my life suck so fucking hard? Why am I such a failure? Why couldn’t Mom just have had twins so I’d never been born? The world would have been better off.

I crawled into bed and took a nap with my mommy. Just a few moments…

I got up a couple hours later, and prepared to wash off. Wiggles was staring hopefully at me.

“Get out Wiggles! I need to bathe!”

“So are you not gonna make potions any more?”

“Jeez, Wigs, I took a break to eat! I’m heading back out.”

“Maybe you should try…”

“BACK OFF WIGGLES! I NEED TO CONCENTRATE!”

“See, look what you made me do!”

“Dr. House…”

“Shut it, Wiggles we’ll try again tomorrow.”

“Rachel! Your sister just called! It’s another boy! They named him Nikolas! Rachel?” Mom poked her head in the garage and saw me sleeping. “Oh, Jesus Fucking Christ! You couldn’t shower first? You’re getting soot all over my sheets!” I was too out of it to hear her or care.